Thursday, November 1, 2012

Vicarious Running

November 1, 2012
I struggled with what to do with this blog. If I let it go, does it mean admitting defeat and accepting that my running life is over. Or do I keep the blog going in the hope that someday a treatment or combination of treatments will lead to a remission and I will have my running life back.  My latest treatment consist of IVIG infusions, which is being trialed for three months. Early signs are promising and I am cautiously optimistic.  I was given a camera for my birthday and have focused on developing my photographic skills, particularly photographing runners.  Being around fit and healthy people is a great counterbalance to my regular hospital visits. I am straddling two worlds and I cannot accept that I no longer belong to the Clan of the Early Morning Runner.

By returning to this blog I am hoping that my optimism will be nourished and I can again dream about moving with grace and ease over the landscape; of being present to moments of great beauty; and  finding peace in my physical body. So I decided to keep writing and posting photos of my vicarious running.

Woodford to Glenbrook 24 June 2012.

Freezing cold at the start of the M7 Marathon at Prestons in western Sydney - 29 July 2012.

M7 Marathon 29 July 2012
M7 Marathon Pairs changeover 29 July 2012
 At the start of Oxfam Trailwalker 24 August 2012 -
First outing for my new 50mm f/1.8 lens.
First of many hills - Oxfam Trailwalker 24 August 2012.
In my neighbourhood - Pub to Pub 26 August 2012.


Flying start to the Sydney Half Marathon - 23 September 2012
Happy to be heading home after the Half Marathon - 23 September 2012. One of my favourite images form the Sydney Running Festival. 

On the way to a marathon PB finish with encouragement from pacer. My other favourite image form the Sydney Running Festival  - 23 September 2012.

Finish-line cannot come soon enough - Sydney Marathon 23 September 2012.


Centennial Park Ultramarathon - 24 September 2012

Centennial Park Ultramarathon - 24 September 2012

Centennial Park Ultramarathon - 24 September 2012


Centennial Park Ultramarathon - 24 September 2012.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Ray of Sunshine

May 1, 2012

"Winning isn’t coming first
my greatest competitor is me
victory is never giving up...I am a runner"


For the past few months I have been submerged in a dark sea of uncertainty and despair. Finally I have emerged and am hopeful of a  brighter future.


I have a firm and final diagnosis, a doctor I absolutely trust and a belief that life will be normal again. Two specialists in the last 10 days confirmed the diagnosis of an autoimmune disease called Dermatomyositis. It is a connective-tissue disease that is characterised by inflammation of muscles and skin and may also affect the joints, the esophagus, the lungs, and less commonly the heart. Further testing over the next few weeks will establish the necessary treatment.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Life is full of Setbacks

January 30, 2012
Life is full of setbacks. Success is determined by how you handle setbacks. ~ Lululemon

I have been diagnosed with myositis.  A month ago I had never heard of myositis, now I know more than I want to and what I have read is scaring me.  Myositis is swelling, inflammation, and deterioration of skeletal muscles. The causes are unknown, but it is thought to be autoimmune in nature. It is a rare condition, affecting only 5-10 people out of every million. And it has no cure!  WTF - this must be a mistake, it cant be happening? As the 'philosopher' Lulumen said  'Life is full of setbacks'.  But to quote another philosopher 'Fair suck of the sav, how much can a koala bear?'
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I think I can trace the progress of this condition to way back in late 2010.   I started a return to running program in mid-October 2011 after the knee troubles.  All was going well until Christmas day when I noticed that my ankles and forearms were swelling and were painful to touch. Since I returned to running I had noticed painful muscles in the lower shins which I thought was due to increase in running and also a change in running shoes.  I massaged, stretched, iced the lower shins ant  took anti-inflammatories but the muscle pain and tightness did not seem to ease. I also had the fall a few weeks out from Christmas so I thought the pain in my arms was from either the fall or from rowing which I started in November.    
I continued to run through Christmas and into the New Year but my fitness felt like it was going backwards; running was becoming more difficult and laboured with elevated heart rate on what should have been relatively easy terrain. 
My canckles - doctor thought they looked normal! 
This combined with the pain and swelling of lower legs and forearms which was not getting better convinced me to cut my holidays in the Victorian high country short and to come home to see a GP.   He had no idea what it was but ordered blood tests and referred me to a rheumatologist.  The rheumatologist was confounded by the symptoms but felt it could only be a handful of things. In addition to the blood tests, he ordered a nuclear body scan and an MRI of my forearms.  
The MRI scan of my forearms did not show muscle tears or sprains but the significant muscle oedema was indicative of muscle inflammation - myositis. My body's immune system is misdirected and it is attacking normal healthy tissues. The overactive immune cells are targeting my skeletal muscles, causing muscle weakness. The treatment prescribed was corticosteroid drugs to suppress the immune system and REST - no exercise of any kind.   The doctor laughed when I said that I had this race I would like to do. Forget that for now! From what I understand each case of myositis is different. I am hoping that all will be well and I can resume my running life – again and soon.  
Breathe deeply and appreciate the moment. 
Living in the moment could be the meaning of life. 
~ Lululemon
View from top of Mt Bogong.

Megalong Valley

Six Foot Track Preview - January 23, 2012
A 29km training run on the Six Foot Track was the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle that convinced me that my body was not responding normally to exercise. I had a few test scheduled for the week so this was my last chance to test out the body on familiar terrain before a follow-up visit with the specialist in a weeks time.  Cool conditions as we started off from Megalong Road heading out to Caves Rd, taking in all the climbs that Six Foot has to offer. 
I was happy to follow behind the others, enjoying being out on the trail again and the reminiscence of the ease I felt when racing along these sections of the course last year. I was a little concerned that my heart rate was elevated considering the cool conditions and the running pace. But as long as I could keep the runners ahead of me in sight I was happy to plod along.  
I had no significant issues with the climbs of Mini Mini and the Pluviometer but the Black Range was bad, a painful time warp that never ends.   My heart rate was spiking which forced me to walk, and my shin muscles felt like they were tearing off the bone.  Any descents from the Deviation to the Caves Road crossing were exquisitely painful, but I forced myself to take in the surroundings – that is why I was doing this after all. It helped a little – the bellbirds were singing, the forest was lush and green and the trail was in excellent shape which made me wonder if the race record will fall this year.    I also came to painful realisation that my chances of being fit enough to comfortably finish the Six Foot race this year were very slim. I will wait till I’ve seen the rheumatologist before making any decisions. 

Bermagui

Spotted Gum Forest Trails (January 14-21, 2012)
A week long holiday at Bermagui, on the sublime south coast of NSWAlways great to explore new trails and enjoy new scenery. 
Hammer and I ran almost every day through the most stunning forest trails dominated by giant Spotted Gums that glistened in the early morning light, along crystal clear ocean waters with pink sunrise and along lush green farmland. 
I enjoyed each morning’s adventure like a dying person – drinking in each sight and sound and pushing the pain in my limbs out to the periphery of my consciousness. It was simply bliss.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Bogong to Hotham 2012

Langford Gap to Mt Hotham (29km - 8 January 2012)
Hammer and I were at our third Bogong to Hotham race this year. In 2010, conditions were hot with temperature around 35 degrees recorded at Mt Beauty, 2011 was cooler and perfect racing weather and this year the forecast was for wind and rain and temperature of 12-14 degrees. The race organisers surprisingly did not require runners to carry the cold weather kit so I guessed that they had better information about the forecast throughout the day.  We arrived at Mt Beauty on Thursday evening and on a perfect day on Friday ran/walked to the  Mt Bogong summit from Mountain Creek Campground. Stunning views from the top with the mountain range stretching like a mirage to the north towards the NSW snowfields.


As I was not fit enough to race this year I had decided to run the second half of the Bogong to Hotham course after dropping Hammer and Al off at the start. The start of the race was pretty low key with runners setting off at first light from Mountain Creek campground.


I knew from experience that the high country is highly unpredictable and that conditions can change quickly. Rain was falling steadily but I expected that it would ease through the day hence the race organisers’ decision regarding the safety equipment the runners needed to carry. After watching the start I drove around to Langfords Gap, just past Falls Creek.


The roads were deserted and a heavy fog clung close to the ground. Rain and wind intensified as I got higher towards the plateau. Thoughts of pulling the pin and going back to the house had crossed my mind but since I was on my way I thought just get to Langfords Gap and then decide. There was one other car in the windswept desolate carpark when I arrived at Langfords Gap around 7.30am. I guessed this to be the radio operator arrived to set up. Strong gusts of wind rocked the car. I sat in the car for 15 minutes debating he wisdom of going out on my own in these conditions.  Before I could talk myself out of it I took a swig from my can of courage and got out, reasoning that I can run to Omeo Rd, about 5kms ahead, and if it is still bad then I can turn around.  The Alpine trail to Omeo Road is a 4WD track and as I realised later relatively protected from the wind.


I got to Omeo Rd and thought it was not too bad despite the rain, fog and not being able to see beyond 2 poles ahead. As long as I can see the poles and I could keep moving it would be OK. And besides I had expected runners to be coming past me long before I reached Mt Hotham. As I got further along the high plain the wind got stronger and gustier and it was coming head-on. At one stage I thought I may have to hold onto the pole or I would be blown away.



It was impossible to run as my legs were being swept from under me and I was constantly being blown sideways off the path. The rain cut across my face like little razor blades which made my already damaged lips sting like crazy. I knew that just had to outrun the high plain and that conditions would change after I reached pole 333 where the alpine trail veers to the south. While still exposed to the wind,  at least it would be coming from a different direction providing some respite. Reaching pole 333 was such a relief and I knew that the route eventfully drops down to Cobungra Gap. At no stage did I have thoughts of turning back by now I was committed to getting to Mt Hotham. Once I got amongst the tress it was almost 'pleasant' as long as I did not focus on the wind whipping through the trees above me. Reaching Dibbin Hut was boost and what a beautiful spot this would be on a good day.




I crossed the valley and followed the signs towards Mt Hotham the route up along Swindlers Spur. About 500m into the climb I realised that I had not seen any poles since leaving the valley floor. Concerned I may have taken a wrong turn I went back down and sure enough there was pole 184 - not sure how I could have missed it. This climb is longer than the course profile suggests.



Swindlers is a gradual undulating climb and reaching Derricks Hut was another great boost - yippeee, I have almost made it , 4km to the road ad another km to Mt Hotham and I am home. The fact that no runners were coming past me was not surprising as I figured the winner would need to run 7hrs to reach Mt Hotham before I expected to be there. Derricks Hut was another picture postcard setting event in the horrible conditions.



It would be great to see the location on a day with better visibility. I continued to jog along the open trail. In the distance Mt Hotham ski lifts stood as shadowy ghosts only becoming apparent as I got very close.



Pole # 8 and soon I was over the water reclamation pond weir and emerged into the Mt Loch carpark only to find one car there. I had initially thought I was in the wrong place but could not work out how that was possible since the poles were obvious towards this point. I had expected to meet friends here who were picking me up and spectating the finish of the race. I got to the road in just under 5 hours and could barely see across the road. I saw some poles going up the mountain and started to follow them only to reach another ski lift. Now I was really confused. The wind and the rain did not allow me to pull out the map and I could not see beyond 2 poles, so concerned that I may be lost I went back to the road. I knew that my priority was to find shelter or else I was in deep trouble. I recall comments about there being nothing near the top of Mt Hotham. Once back on the road I ran about a 1km in one direction still no cars visible. It was so eerie there was not another soul anywhere near.

I ran back along the road to the car-park and a further km into the other direction reaching a tunnel and beyond that a building emerged from the shadows - sweet lord - relief, I found shelter. It turned out to be a chalet with a coffee shop that was only open because the race was on today. Once inside, I peeled off my rainjacket and stood in the foyer dripping, I was soaked to the skin in my running shorts and T-shirt.  I stood shivering but I needed to urgently make contact with friends who were supposed to be meeting me at Mt Hotham. I soon discovered that the race had been abandoned at Langfords Gap, strangely that never occurred to me as a possibility.

I ended up getting a lift  back to Mt Beauty  - what providence.  I later learnt that wind gust of up to 120km/hr were recorded at Langford Gap during the day and 140km/hr at Mt Hotham. The next day brilliant sunshine and  2 days later snow fell at Mt Hotham - crazy season.

In hindsight like all near misses lots of lessons emerged from this experience. Would I do it again under similar conditions – you bet. Would I be better prepared – you bet.