Wednesday March 10, 2010 (Walk)Way back in the early hours of the 1st December 2009 I accepted the challenge to spend the second Saturday in March experiencing 45 km of pleasure and pain. At the time of entering the Six Foot Track Marathon I had not run for nearly 3months nursing a torn hamstring tendon. I thought that if I could not start running pain free by mid-January it was not likely that I would be fit in time. I was tentative starting in late January, trying not to do too much too soon but conscious of the clock ticking. I have had the hardest ever return to running fitness. A total of eight weeks of preparation and 450km of running has really only been enough to start building endurance but not really enough to tackle this race with confidence.
Yesterday I stubbed my foot on a set of dumbbells I left lying around in the hallway. Maybe I was trying to sabotage myself? Maybe I was just starting the pain threshold conditioning? I thought I might have broken a toe. While it hurts to walk now, it is only bruised and sore and should be right by Saturday.
I have been defeated by the Black Range twice and I fear that this time around it will again chew me up and spit me out. But in a strange way I am kind of looking forwarding to hitting that wall and seeing what emerges from the dark swirling abyss. Pain and misery can be strange companions which alter perceptions of time. I read a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt which has been an inspiration to me on the days I thought of withdrawing from this race:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do”