Memory and Pain

Memory of pain is hard to erase. I am following a modified Pfitzinger program for returning from injury.  Past week I did 5 walk/run sessions and have gradually increased the duration and frequency on each run leg. Longest running session was a 6 by 1km run with a 1km walk in between. On Monday and Tuesday I did 2 by 2km run with a 1km walk in between. 

Sculptures by the Sea - healthy skeletal condyles

But by Tuesday night I began to feel a slight niggle in the knee. Is it real or is a memory of the pain? I have seen too many  images of my  injured knee to not be aware of the impact that running is having.  As a result I can’t tell if the pain is real or imaginary.

Tuesday was the first time since May that I have run in the predawn hours. Although the run was short it was so wonderful to be out and running at my favourite time of day. Working up a sweat and watching the sunrise = bliss.   

Time to Fly

Tuesday November 1, 2011
Five months since I stopped running and I have finally emerged from the depths of the worst depression I have ever suffered. Not being able to run really sucks.

After the initial fracture diagnosis, I spent 6 weeks on crutches,  managing to get out for a few ocean swims and regular sessions on the stationary bike. But within days of coming off the crutches I developed a second  fracture,  this time in the medial femoral condyle. This was totally unexpected.  The sports doctor thought it was due to the long period of non-weight bearing combined with low bone density which is a result of having had chemotherapy 12 years ago.  I saw an endocrinologist for consultation on treatment of the necrotic bone in the knee and  bone density. She, along with my GP advised me to give up any idea of returning to running - ever.  My feelings of being an utter and complete failure deepened the depression I was already suffering. I cried often and would burst into spontaneous bouts of crying every time I passed a runner in the street or Hammer headed off for a run.

In early September I had a biphosphonate infusion which works by killing off osteoblasts, the cells responsible for removing bone tissue. The most painful two weeks followed the treatment where I had terrible bone ache and could not walk, sleep or sit.  I was determined that if I got though this pain it will have been worthwhile only IF I could return to running. The sports doctor I saw way back in July said it was OK to gradually return to activity as long as there is no pain. I clung onto this and  over the past 4 weeks I have been gradually increasing my walking distance and have recently started incorporating running into the walking by 1k walk/1km run for about 12k.

The high hamstring tear is still painful and the insertional achilles pain I had after the Six Foot Track has reappeared as I increased the walking distance. I tried walking in my  collection of  running shoes (Nike Free 3's,  Brooks Glycerine, Brooks Adrenaline, Brooks Cascadia, Adidas AdiZero and Newtons) and none seem to make a difference. So what do you do if  changing shoes makes no difference - well in desperation  you invest in another pair - of course!

Great cushioning which I think will help with the knee. I have been out in them 3 times and so far no achilles pain. And if in the end they do not work, at least I think they make my bum look smaller ;-).  It is time to fly.